A strange thing started happening a few weeks ago. I would sit on top of the coffee maker while Mom got ready to leave for work. I was just there to take a good look at her and say bye for now.
Then Connor and Mama started putting their paws in front of me, above my head, and murmuring, “High five.”
Well, I don't really speak much English, let alone math. I am four, and I haven't gone to school yet. Nobody has explained why we are counting while Mama is trying to go to work.
Connor was so eager and enthusiastic. He just kept his paw up there. I wasn't sure whether this was a skill kitties were supposed to learn or whether he needed help putting his arm down.
And then the cabinet opened.
After a few minutes of back and forth, I reached up and touched Connor's paw with mine. This made him really happy. Then he opened the cabinet above my head and generously gave me two treats.
YES. This paw-to-paw thing is how I get TREATS!
It hit me like lightning. Suddenly, the English and the math made perfect sense. One paw touch. Two treats. I was ready for school.
Ever since then, whenever Mama or Connor puts a paw in front of me, I put my paw on theirs. They get excited. I get treats. Everybody seems very pleased with my education.
Now I am a PAW–high-five master.
A word about my fellow student
My brother Tiger didn't quite get it at first. I could see that he had questions. Mainly, why were we touching hands when the treats were clearly in the cabinet?
But he kept trying, and now he has received the Most Improved at High Fives award. He sometimes brings both paws. This is a lot of enthusiasm, and I respect it.
The high-five honors
Most Improved
Tiger
For showing up, sticking with it, and putting both paws into the assignment.
I am proud of him. Obviously, “Most Improved” and “Most Talented” are different awards. There is room in this family for both of us.
Actually… I invented this.
When I think about it, I may have told the beginning of this story incorrectly. Connor was standing there with his paw in the air, unsure what to do. I touched it. He opened the cabinet. I repeated the lesson, and now the humans reliably produce treats.
Yes. I invented the high five, and I taught it to the humans. I'm glad we cleared that up.
A business idea from Simba
Simba's High-Five Masterclass
I'm thinking about releasing a paid training plan for cats who want to high-five and eat as many treats as I do.
High fives don't happen overnight. Take it from me, the most talented high-fiver in the world. It takes discipline, careful training, and, most importantly, buying Simba's training plan.
Still in development. I have been very busy accepting treats.
One more before you go?
Of course, Tiger can train with me for free. He is my brother, and I want him to do well. If Mama holds out her hand, there is room for his paw beside mine.
Sometimes, after the treats are gone, I leave my paw in Mama's hand for a little longer. She has to go to work soon.
That one is just to say bye for now.