A very serious publication about two unserious cats

Two cats.
No credentials.
Plenty of opinions.

Life advice, property expertise, romantic résumés, and brave personal essays from Simba and Tiger.

Read their dispatches

Simba

Mama's favorite · retired academic

Tiger

Technical writer · box authority

Starring

SimbaMama's favorite · former academic · treat apologist

TigerCybersecurity writer · box analyst · laser athlete

From the editorial desk

Essential reading

Reported with access to the cats, their family, and one highly placed squirrel.

Tiger's field guide

A first-time buyer's guide to boxes

Location, structural integrity, and the eternal question: will I fit if I insist?

Meet the talent

Two dating profiles. Zero emotional availability.

Their work history, love languages, and extremely selective thoughts on dinner.

Simba, in his own words

My long road back from treat addiction

A courageous story of recovery, relapse, and hearing a bag crinkle from three rooms away.

Tiger's screening room

Hoppers made me want to speak up

A family viewing, an unwanted overnight intermission, and one private tear.

Tiger's care desk

A responsible cat's guide to pet care

Birdie, the many Jacks, a super-stomach theory, and one prairie-dog application.

Simba's practical advice

How to poop—and remember to do it

Vertical form, front-paw placement, and the twice-daily Mama timer.

Double review

Ratatouille: two critics, one rat

Tiger demands a ban. Simba discovers cinema, cooking, and Paris.

Tiger's health obsession

All these years: the mug-water revelation

A fountain, an unattended desk mug, and the hydration uprising that followed.

Mental Health · By Tiger

My therapist

Simba wants every chair. Connor makes sure Tiger still feels like a king.

A Halloween tale · By Simba

The night Mama vanished

Several moons. An enchanted brother. One overnight trip that lasted a lifetime.

Two cats.No credentials.Plenty of opinions.